Love Wins!

Don't just pretend that you love others.  Really love them.
Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good.
Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.
Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically.
Be glad for all God is planning for you.
 

Be patient in trouble and always be prayerful.  
When God's children are in need, be the one to help them out.

And get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner,
 

or if they need lodging for the night.

If people persecute you because you are a Christian, don't curse them;
pray that God will bless them.

When others are happy, be happy with them.

If they are sad, share their sorrow.
Live in harmony with each other.

Don't try to act important, but enjoy the company of ordinary people.
And don't think you know it all!

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.
Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.
Do your part to live in peace with everyone as much as possible.
Romans 12:9-18

The Other Side of Through

Jesus, in Luke 4:35-41; 5:1, after having finished teaching by the lakeshore, told His disciples in v. 35, "Let's cross to the other side of the lake (NLT)." Now, notice what He said, they were going to the other side. Well, we all know the events that followed.

A great storm came and the disciples were afraid. And to top it all off, Jesus was sleeping in the midst of this ferocious storm! Frightened and distressed, the disciples awakened Jesus, who got up and simply said three words, "Peace be still."

He then asked the disciples why they were so frightened and whether or not they had faith in Him. See, the disciples lost sight of all the previous things Jesus had done. They lost sight of Who it was they had been with all this time. And they missed the simple promise Jesus gave in His saying, "Let's cross to the other side of the lake." Don't let your situation make you forget the promise. Don't become so focused on the storm that you forget the One who is right there with you in the midst of it and has the power to bring peace even in the midst of the storm.

Note that Luke 5:1 tells us that they did make it to the other side as promised and there Jesus healed the man who had been possessed by a legion of demons. Know that on the other side of the storms you face, you will have grown in your faith and because you have grown in your faith, you will have also become perserverant and more conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. Through the storms, come peace. Through the storms, comes increase. Through the storms, come healing.

When we have the proper perspective of our stormy times in life and understand that they come to make us strong, our attitude is that of joy rather than sorrow. It is one of the many ways in which our Heavenly Father shows His love for us. Proverbs 3:11-12 says: "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as the father the son he delights in." So whether you are experiencing a storm because of a poor choice you've made or even just from life itself, know that God allows these to come to bring us into a closer and more intimate walk with Him. And God is just SO good that He doesn't leave us to go through it alone. We have a Comfortor, the indwelling Holy Spirit of God who leads and guides us if we'd but only listen.

So, when your storms come, for they will, remember that they have a purpose: to produce growth in your life, to make you strong and to bring you closer to the Father! And in the midst of that storm, know that your loving Heavenly Father is growing you more and more into the likeness of His Son, Jesus the Christ!

Getting Back to the Basics

The minute you get away from the fundamentals the bottom will fall out of whatever you are doing. ~ Michael Jordan 

What made Michael Jordan such an extraordinary basketball player was his dedication to the simplistic essentials of the game. He understood that if he mastered them, he'd be almost invincible. So he practiced them, over and over again until they became natural. As followers of Christ, we too must have an intense dedication to the simplistic essentials of the faith. We must practice them over and over again, until they become natural. We cannot allow all the things of this life to cause us to move away from or forget who we are and Whose we are. Today, get back to the basics! Get your Word, pen and paper and find a place of solitude and silence and ask God to help you to refocus. Position yourself to receive from Holy Spirit and ask Him to guide you as you pore over the Scriptures. And then, get up and walk on the firm foundation which has been laid!

God's Got It!

David said to Saul, "Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him." Saul replied, "You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a boy, and he has been a fighting man from his youth." But David said to Saul, "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." Saul said to David, " Go, and the Lord be with you." I Samuel 17:37


In the midst of what would be a seeming crisis, David, the young shepherd boy, demonstrates a tremendous confidence and faith in God. He basically told them, "It's gonna be all right! I got this, trust! God's got my back." David didn't rely and rest in his own ability, rather he had first hand experience with the awesome power of God. Saul's response to David is one of doubt and a lack of confidence. He looked at David's physique, youth and his inexperience in battle as stumbling blocks to victory. Oh, but what a shame. For David may have been smaller than Saul in stature, younger than him in years and ill experienced in battle, but what David did have was an all consuming faith and reliance in an Almighty God whom he knew as Victorious!

Paraphrasing, David said to Saul, "Let me break it down for you. See one day while I tending to the sheep, along came a bear trying to get on his creep. I jumped to my feet cause he was coming after my sheep, and I had to put a beating on him! I wasn't packin' , but I was doing some hackin'. Then along came a lion trying to sneak up on me. I had to give him the beat down too. It wasn't cause of me, but because of Jehovah working in me."

David went on further to show his disgust and disdain for this "uncircumcised" Philistine who had the audacity to challenge the Almighty God. He let Saul know that he may have forgotten who God was, but David certainly had not. David had tasted and seen the goodness of the Lord and how powerful were His mighty acts. Therefore David could say, "This Philistine aint about nothin'. God's got it under control. Let me have at him. God's got this!"

What giants do you have in your life? Whose attitude best reflects your own in "giant situations", that of Saul or David? Have you lost faith because you have focused so much on the giant that your view of God has been clouded and muddled? Have you forgotten the times that God empowered you to "slay the bears and the lions" in your life? Its always good to go back to those spiritual markers in your life and to remember how you made it through. Its good to remember how when the lion and the bear came God empowered you in your frailty to take the lion and the bear by the throat and to slay them in victory. Remember, that for every giant in your life there was once a lion or a bear, but you came out victorious. God has already won the victory over the "giant" in your life, so don't lose faith.

Today, follow the example of David, wherein he didn't allow Saul's lack of faith in his life's experience to dissuade him from believing that God was able. Walk confidently in the fact that you serve an Almighty, All Powerful, Victorious God. And in the words of the Apostle Paul, "If God is for us, who can be against us?...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." (Romans 8:31b,37)

My Husband's Helpmeet

In His creative process, we see only one instance when God said that something wasn’t good. God said that it was not good for Adam to be alone. So, He created a helper suitable for him. This helper would complement Adam and be his counterpart in every way. Out of the place that protected Adams heart, his rib, God created Eve. She would come alongside Adam to fulfill the purpose for which God had created man. She was to love, support and respect Adam as, together, they carried out God’s purposes here on earth. 

I have learned that being a helper to my husband means that I must first understand who I am and the role that I play in his life. When I align myself under the authority which God has established, I can then, without reservation, resentment or regret, carry out and be fulfilled as his helper. Because I realize my worth and value, as his helper I can help him to be and do all that God has purposed for him and our family. As my husband’s helper I have learned to use all that God has entrusted in me, my gifts, talents and skills to enhance my husband, my home and my family. My husband knows that I will always have his back. I am his greatest fan and biggest cheerleader! Therefore, his heart can safely trust in me because I will always have his best interest at heart. I strive to be a safe haven where he can come and find peace and rest and not criticism and instead of always complaining about what he is not, pray for him where he is weak and praise him in his strengths. As his helper, I understand that when I come alongside him and walk in oneness with him in all that God has called us to, we proclaim God’s truth to the world. We give the world a picture of God’s love. 

A Marriage Investment Plan

We invest our time, efforts and money into things that we deem as important. Here are a few ways you can invest in your marriage:

• Commit to praying for and with one another.
• Commit to speaking your spouse's love language on a regular basis. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages helps you find out how you can speak love to your spouse.
• Commit to forgiveness. Don't get historical but fight fair.
• Have a time of Bible study together that fits your schedule.
• Commit to biblical love for one another. I Corinthians 13
• Make your marriage your priority. Spend time together enjoying each other's company. Have a regular date night and go on periodic getaways.
• Spend time processing through your day together...and be fully present.
• Commit to showing an authentic interest in your spouse and helping them to succeed in life. Remember, you are a team!
• Enjoy expressing love to one another through the gift of sex. Bed ministry is a must in every marriage!

Sit down together and map out how you will carry out this investment plan. Spend time in prayer asking God for His power to live out the plan He has designed for your marriage. 

Date Your Spouse!

For the past 15 years at our house, Friday night has been date night. We protect it at all costs because we know that spending one on one time having fun together is key to sustaining our friendship in marriage. If you haven't done so already, select a day and time that works for your family and stick to it. Don't make excuses but rather make the investment that will reap longlasting dividends.

 For some great and affordable date night ideas, head on over and see what date night ideas The Dating Divas have to offer this week. www.thedatingdivas.com

It was one of those days when I was in a cranky mood and it seemed as if my husband could nothing right. If he washed the dishes, I told him how to do it the way I did. If he helped the kids with something, I felt like he should have helped differently. Honestly, if the poor man breathed, I would have said that he was doing that wrong! He just could not win.

Instead of reciprocating to me what I'd dished out to him, he looked at me and said these words. "Raquel, I know your day has been difficult and you're not in the best mood, but I'm trying. Could you please extend me some grace?" 

Well, let me tell you, this woman felt a wave of shame and conviction overcome me. I was so consumed with my feelings, my day, me...me...me, that I really didn't pay attention to how my actions were affecting him. But Artie was patient with me, making allowances for my moodiness. 

In order for there to be unity and oneness in marriage, we must do what Ephesians 4:2-3 says. Otherwise, we will be on an endless cycle of criticism, character assassination, discouragement and defeat. When we allow the Spirit of God to live this out through us, true oneness can occur.

I had to apologize to my husband for my less than stellar disposition and ask God to forgive me as well. I am so thankful that even when we don't extend it to others as we should, God is still gracious to us.

Tenacious Tuesday...I Meant What I Said!

It's been a week since I've posted but what a week it's been. I've seen God's hand at work in so many ways and am so grateful for the awesome privilege to serve Him!

This past Sunday, the Youth Pastor at our church, Alf Clark, brought the message for the morning entitled, I Meant What I Said. However, before the sermon he and his wife renewed their wedding vows as it was their 18th wedding anniversary. Some may have wondered why they chose to renew their vows at 18. Well, as Alf explained it, he met his wife, Carrie when he was 18 years old, in a math class at Grand Valley State University. He'd spent the first half of his life without her...not knowing her. This anniversary was significant because he'd spent the second half with the love of his life, his wife. As my husband read their vows, Alf and Carrie reaffirmed the vows they'd made to one another 18 years ago.

I, take you, to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

In honor of Alf and Carrie, today is Tenacious Tuesday! Tenacious means not readily letting go of, giving up, or separated from an object that one holds. So today, recommit to the vow you made on your wedding day. Hold tight and don't let go! 

Take Time With Him Tuesday

Ever have a day where Murphy's Law reigned supreme? A day where it seemed like you were more of an octopus than human? The kids are bickering, the house is a mess, you still have to cook dinner, the laundry has piled up, you had a bad day at work and the dog is barking incessantly? Then to top it all off, your husband comes home from work and wants your undivided attention! Trust me...I have been there too! Quite often!

As much as we have a commitment to do all these other things, we must make time for our husbands as well. My husband often reminds me that he feels like he doesn't matter when I consistently put him off to handle other things around the house. We can get so caught up in these things that our husband wanting our attention becomes an inconvenience rather than something we look forward to. 

Why not have a designated time when the two of you can sit down after a long hard day where you can both decompress and just "be" together?  Protect this time at all costs. Taking this time with your husband will reaffirm to him that he matters to you and that you enjoy being with him. 

The Power of a Praying Wife

One of the best things you can do to be a great help to your husband is to commit to praying for him on a daily basis.

If you don't already own it, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian is an excellent resource to get you started. If you don't know how to pray for your husband the book has prayers to help you get into the habit of praying for him. Today, choose to take time to lift your man before God. #hishelpmeet #prayingwives

Motivate Him Monday!

It's Monday and here at www.helpmeethis.blogspot.com that means it's time to get to motivating our husbands! I am so excited to see what God will do not only in the lives of our husbands as we commit to this, but in us as wives as well. Whenever we set out to be an encouragement to someone else, we are always blessed as well.

So, how can we motivate our husbands? By encouraging and affirming him. With all the things our man has coming at him during the course of a day, he may lack motivation to do anything, be anything or even aspire to anything. However, when his queen comes along side him and begins to affirm his manhood and character, that stirs something up in him to want to do better and be better.

Here are some practical ways to motivate your man:

1. Pray for him. Don't let a day go by without lifting your husband up before the Lord. Covering him in prayer helps to protect and shield him from the attacks of the enemy. Your praying for him on a daily also helps to shift your focus and perspective of him. As you pray for your husband, your heart will begin to soften towards him in areas where it may have hardened. 
2. Fix him breakfast or a cup of coffee. Send your man out the door in the morning with a full stomach and a kiss...a 15 second kiss! I know you have a lot to do as well, but taking time to care for your husband says to him that he matters to you and that you enjoy taking care of him.
3. Send him a text, email or call him during the day to check in with him and see how his day is going. If he is having a rough day, offer him some encouraging words or offer to pray with him. 
4. Write your husband a "love note" listing all the things you love about him. Leave it on his pillow or wherever he will notice it.
5. Men love bed ministry...yes...bed ministry! Our husbands feel loved when they feel wanted by us. So, take a nice shower or bath, put on something cute (not your big terry cloth bathrobe!) and snuggle up to him tonight. 

You get the picture. Motivating your husband is really ministering to his needs. As you begin to be intentional in looking for ways to affirm, encourage and motivate him you will begin to see your husband walk just a little taller, his chest stick out just a little further because his queen thinks he's special! 

Kissing Couples

Here's a challenge for you today. Kiss your spouse for at least 15 seconds three times today. Try this: when they leave for work, when they come home from work and right before bed.

He Will Restore

Nobody's growing old together, we've made it easy just to quit.
Love has become a negative percentage, why do we bother to commit.We've got a long list of excuses, ways we try to justify
Well, I propose to you the truth is, marriage does not have to die.I know you're feeling like it’s falling apart and it can't go on anymore.
But God is a God who knows how to heal so just give it up to the Lord...and He will restore. ~ Chris August, He Will Restore

Unconditional Love

In what ways does your husband need an "extra dose" of grace? Where does your husband need a covering of grace from you?

-If he has sinned against you, forgive him...over and over.
-If he has violated your trust in some serious way, show your love by getting help from a pastor or professional Christian counselor.
-If he is experiencing failure, let him know that you will stand with him, no matter what.
-If he is experiencing a pressure point in his life, perhaps at work or in a decision he must make, encourage him with understanding and by praying for him.

Whatever his weaknesses may be, remind him that God and you love him and that both of you are with him even during hard times.

Team "Us"

As husband and wife, the two of you are a team. As with any other team, you must put in the time and effort for growth and development. Most teams have practice times, a mission statement or motto, times they practice, a plan of action, and a vision of winning the championship. As Team (insert your last name), do the two of you take time to connect on a regular basis? Do you sit down and debrief after being away from one another all day? What is your family's mission statement or motto? What plan of action do you have to carry out the vision God has given you for your marriage and family? And finally, what steps are you taking to win the championship...which is oneness? #hishelpmeet

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My Husband Rocks!

Be your husband's biggest fan! Tell him on a daily basis those things that made you fall in love with him. Affirm his abilities as a leader and provider. When you see him spending time with the kids, tell him how great of a dad he is. Be sure to cheer him on today!